The Whisper Passing Through My Lips
by Risa Hijikata
Summary: A teen's unrequited love is not something unusual. Moreover if the subject is a childhood friend. 'It's a part of life, nothing special,' they said. But all that my heart could utter was, 'Help,' and no sound would escape from my lips. (Shounen-Ai; GinHijiGin; short instalments)
1. What was seen cannot be unseen

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mixed between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** I'm sorry bits and pieces of the plot and atmosphere were ripped off and Gintama isn't even mine either so basically,… screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends. Possibility of OOC is high but I'm in the mood for something light-hearted so maximum fluff ahead.

 **How-to-read:** Take it like a manhwa installation. This means short chapters on the characters day-to-day happenings - tends to jump around a lot so be prepared.

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 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

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 **Chapter 1** **\- What Was Seen Cannot Be Unseen**

 _Aaa~ah…_ Gintoki sighed.

 _Perhaps it wouldn't be like this if I hadn't been stubborn about this. I suppose I could've just said what I wanted and be done with it. Don't care about how he would response, or how he would look at me afterwards - I should've just gotten it done in one go. It's ok even if I could only manage to utter it in a playful tone as long as I said it._

 _…as long as I said it…_

The regrets passed through his mind as he slowly backed away from the scene before him.

Fragile arms around his neck. Slender body pressing against him. They were entwined in a lover embrace, their lips merging as one.

Gintoki saw through the door gap of the Student Council Room and understood. She wanted to make him hers. The same exact desire that he had been suppressing for the time that he had been friends with him. Now that it has come to this, there's no choice for him but to give up.

 _If only it's that easy to do, I wouldn't have suffered this much._


	2. Is it really the time to joke?

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mixed between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** I'm sorry bits and pieces of the plot and atmosphere were ripped off and Gintama isn't even mine either so basically,… screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends. Possibility of OOC is high but I'm in the mood for something light-hearted so maximum fluff ahead.

 **How-to-read:** Take it like a manhwa installation. This means short chapters on the characters day-to-day happenings - tends to jump around a lot so be prepared.

* * *

 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

* * *

 **Chapter 2** **\- Is It Really The Time To Joke?**

Gintoki tapped the shoulder of the person walking in front of him. The raven hair turned to face him, and acknowledged him with a small nod as Gintoki waved to convey his morning greeting.

They walked side-by-side and entered the school ground for another new day of learning.

'…you're so quiet today. It's creeping me out.' The dark-haired man called Hijikata, spoke to him for the first time that morning.

With a handsome appearance that would seem as if he would be popular among the girls, the man with the morning low-blood-pressure is an unfriendly existence to those who are not his friends.

The two headed for their classroom together after they changed into their indoor shoes and Gintoki mouthed the words without a sound.

'Are you trying out miming or something? You look stupid… not that your usual look isn't stupid anyway.'

Gintoki took offence and mouthed his complaint in a flurry of silent words.

'Oi, seriously. Don't play that stupid game with me.' Hijikata started to feel irritated.

Gintoki settled down onto his chair and opened his bag to take out a notebook. After finding an empty page, he wrote something and passed it to the person sitting in front of him.

'You seriously can't speak?' Hijikata searched for truth in those dark red eyes after he read those messy writings.

Gintoki nodded convincingly and grabbed the book to add more.

'It's not a cold? And the doctor said that there isn't anything wrong with your throat?'

Gintoki nodded once again.

'Heh. Aren't you supposed to check your brain? The doctor would probably find that everything is wrong in there.'

Gintoki snatched the notebook to scrawl paragraphs of complaint and tore the page to throw it at Hijikata's face. Luckily for Hijikata, he saw it coming and caught the scrunched ball of paper in time.

At the same time, the teacher came into the classroom and any response to their banter was put on hold as they were forced to stand to greet the teacher.


	3. One Shouldn't Be Too Full of Himself

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mix between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** … screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends, Fluff.

 **How-to-read:** You have the idea. Otherwise, go back to Chp1.

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 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

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 **Chapter 3** **\- One Shouldn't Be Too Full of Himself**

The lunch bell rang after the end of the third period.

Gintoki stood up from his chair and was about to head to the cafeteria when a hand on the crook of his elbow stopped him.

'Hey, where are you going?'

Gintoki pointed to his right and mouthed the word _Ca-fe-ta-ri-a_ slowly.

'Don't we always eat on the rooftop?'

A hand rose as if to hide a smirk that seemed to say, _Someone is really missing my company._

'It's not like that stupid!' Hijikata denied vehemently. 'I was just taking pity on you because you're the type that doesn't have many friends due to your bad attitude. You should be thankful that I'm gracing my company to eat lunch with you everyday here.' He embarrassedly looked away.

Gintoki chuckled and made a small wave of motion with his hand. Hijikata took it as, _I'll be there in a moment, so you go on ahead_ , and headed there with an uncertain look. Sure enough, Hijikata was out of Gintoki's sight a moment later.


	4. Unexpected Company

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mix between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** … screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends, Fluff.

 **How-to-read:** Read the letters.

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 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

* * *

 **Chapter 4** **\- Unexpected Company**

Hijikata waited for fifteen minutes without touching his lunch for a certain someone.

It annoyed him that he had to wait for a stupid perm head when the breeze is cold and the feeling of hunger is clawing at him. Perhaps it was a mistake to insist in eating on the rooftop.

But this place is special to them.

This was the only place that they're able to be alone and it's the place of privilege that they have worked for after being chosen as the Student Council President. No one can disturb them here.

 _But where's that perm head? Lunch time is almost over._ Hijikata shivered involuntarily.

As he silently cursed the cold autumn breeze, the door to the rooftop creaked open. He silently thought, _at last_ , but the person revealed was not one that he had expected.

He frowned and could not help but to ask, '…why are you here…?'


	5. It's Rude To Stand Someone Up

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mix between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** … screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends, Fluff.

 **How-to-read:** Just do as you like.

* * *

 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

* * *

 **Chapter 5** **\- It's Rude To Stand Someone Up**

 _That bloody old man. I'm gonna hit him. No, scratch that. I'm gonna strangle him. Maybe that way, his voice would come back and I will have the fortune to hear his last dying scream._ Hijikata lividly thought as he stomped through the school corridor.

He found himself back in the classroom and saw his prey eating a yakisoba bread in his seat while reading the newest volume of Jump. Hijikata loomed over him, shadowing the page that Gintoki was reading and thus forcing the man to look up.

'Care to explain?' Hijikata grabbed those munching cheeks roughly with one hand and Gintoki tried to get free from that without much success.

'I don't appreciate waiting in the cold and have you ditched for somewhere warm as you eat your lunch with your beloved Jump. I'll skin you and hang you from the rooftop so that you can experience how cold it was, damn it!'

Gintoki spluttered as he tried to explain between munching and swallowing. It did not help either for the fact that hard as he tried, no sound would pass from his lips. As he swallowed the last morsel and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, he rustled for another textbook on his desk to write in.

Hijikata grabbed that hand, stopping him in his motions.

'You don't have to write the answer.' He glared. 'I want to hear you say it.'

The permed head frowned. He mouthed, _Stuuuu-pid_ and that irked Hijikata.

'I'm waiting for an explanation that would justify why you stood me up. And I won't forgive you if you can't at least have the decency to apologise for it in your own words.'

Gintoki closed his eyes and shook his head. He shook away Hijikata's grip and touched the base of his throat.

The vulnerable look was unbecoming of him but Hijikata's thought was disturbed as someone called him from behind.

'…sorry. Was I…, interrupting something?' the girl with the sandy-coloured hair smiled wryly.


	6. The Conflict Between Mind and Heart

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mix between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** … screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends, Fluff.

 **How-to-read:** Just do as you like.

* * *

 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

* * *

 **Chapter 6** **\- The Conflict Between Mind and Heart**

Gintoki watched him go.

He talked with her outside of the classroom, wearing an expression between annoyance and frustration. Gintoki was surprised that the girl hadn't run away yet from that scary face.

He had to admit, he felt the guilt gnawing at him for what he did but at the same time, he was glad that at least Hijikata was saved from him.

He hadn't managed to taint him yet.

There's still a chance for Hijikata to lead a normal life and grab at a normal form of happiness. It won't do for him to ruin the life of his most important person.

That's right, they are friends. Though closer than normal, they are _still_ friends.

 _It's a happy thing and yet, why does my heart hurt so much?_


	7. Trouble Come In Twos

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mix between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** … screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends, Fluff.

 **How-to-read:** Just do as you like.

* * *

 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

* * *

 **Chapter 7** **\- Trouble Come In Twos**

To deny one thing was to also deny another, Hijikata realized.

'I think I've already said that I won't do it.' Hijikata gruffly answered - his body language obviously screamed how bothersome this is for him.

'I'm sorry.' The girl in front of him almost in the brink of tears.

This troubled him greatly and as the students passing by were looking at them, he took her somewhere quieter.

'Listen, saying this out loud would make it seem like I have no tact, and it would also make it seem as if I'm overly self-conscious too but if you have a hidden motive like wanting to date me, I have no interest.' He blurted out.

'I'm sorry.' She once again muttered, this time tears flowed down her face.

Hijikata sighed, and took out the handkerchief in his pocket.

'Here, use this.' He offered.

She took it with a small 'Thank you.'

The bell then rang, and Hijikata made a move to head back to his own classroom.

'Um,… the handkerchief! I'll….I'll wash it and give it back-'

'-keep it.' Hijikata left without looking back.


	8. Fear Comes With Smiles

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mix between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** … screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends, Fluff.

 **How-to-read:** Just do as you like.

* * *

 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

* * *

 **Chapter 8** **\- Fear Comes With Smiles**

Someone sitting next to him passed Gintoki a piece of paper during the lesson.

 _I heard Hijikata made a girl cry again. This time it was a girl from class C._

Gintoki wrote back, _Whoaaaa he's definitely every women's enemy, making girls cry like that._

The piece of paper passed around for a while and as Gintoki waited for it to circle around to him again, he tried to hide a small smile from his face.

Gintoki was secretly happy. Perhaps it was a misunderstanding after all, and maybe he has a chance. But truthfully, this opportunity resolved nothing about his original fear - the fear of being denied.

The little ball of paper rolled once again to his desk. Gintoki straightened the scrunched paper and saw a familiar handwriting.

 _DAMN YOU, PERM! YOU'RE MY NUMBER 1 ENEMY! I STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN YOU FOR LUNCH!_

Gintoki couldn't help himself from snorting, trying hard to hold back his laughter. The paper it seemed, had passed through the desk of the subject of conversation himself.

 _LOL. Is 5 bottles of mayonnaise enough?_

Gintoki passed the paper and waited.

The reply came quickly this time.

 _You think you can bribe me with mayo!? 10 bottles and it's water under the bridge._

Gintoki smiled, and folded the piece of paper before he tucked it away into his side pocket.


	9. You're Only Popular When You Cross-Dress

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mix between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** … screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends, Fluff.

* * *

 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

* * *

 **Chapter 9** **\- You're Only Popular When You Cross-Dress**

'So, why did you send her to the rooftop during lunch?' Hijikata asked as he took out his sneakers from the locker and changed into them.

 _Hm? I just thought your youth seems a bit lonely without the presence of girls, Oogushi-kun~_ Gintoki scratched out the sentence on a notebook before he placed his school indoor shoes into his locker.

'Who's Oogushi-kun! And that concern was so unnecessary! You're the one who's lacking!'

Hijikata slammed his shoe locker as he picked up his bag. They made their way out of the school area and headed towards the station.

The perm-head condescendingly shook his head. _Now, now. You don't know this but I'm quite popular among the girls. There's an endless queue of them, trying to get closer to Gin-san._

Hijikata read the answer suspiciously. 'Are you talking about how the girls drama club was trying to get you to do Juliet's role for the upcoming cultural festival?'

Gintoki looked away sharply.

'That's it, isn't it?' Hijikata glared at him who refused to meet his eyes.

 _Don't sweat the details, Oogushi-kun._

'I told you, I'm not Oogushi! Call me by my name, oi.'

The train arrived and Gintoki didn't manage to write out his reply as they filed inside. Gintoki wasn't sure either if he would put to pen what he had replied inside his mind - that Oogushi was a special name that only he can use.


	10. Forgiveness Doesn't Come Cheap

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mix between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** … screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends, Fluff.

* * *

 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

* * *

 **Chapter 10** **\- Forgiveness Doesn't Come Cheap**

The register attendant looked at them with curiosity. 'Thank you for your purchase,' she politely smiled.

Gintoki sobbed as his wallet became empty and Hijikata whistled happily as he carried the two plastic bags full of mayonnaise.

They came onto a fork in the road and Gintoki was about to depressingly headed off home when Hijikata stopped him.

'Come on over for dinner. I think brother said that we're having sukiyaki and we need more people to finish up the meat.'

Gintoki's eyes alighted and he nodded furiously.

'Ok, I'll tell brother that you can make it. Manami-san will be coming over too.' Hijikata subtly mentioned that his brother's girlfriend would also be visiting over for dinner, thus it would be awkward for him if Gintoki couldn't make it.

 _You should've gotten used to third-wheeling them by now._ Gintoki smirked.

Hijikata protested. 'You don't know how awful it can be when they forgot that they're not alone. It was damn awkward! So you better come!'

Gintoki chuckled silently before they went off their separate ways.


	11. Politeness Is A Good Quality

**Warning:** Ideas taken from a mix between the manga 19 Days and Gusari's DJ on OiIwa

 **Disclaimer:** … screw copyright.

 **Setting:** AU, High-School, Childhood Friends, Fluff.

* * *

 **The Whisper Passing Through My Lips**

* * *

 **Chapter 11** **\- Politeness Is A Good Quality**

Gintoki rang the doorbell.

Hijikata opened it, surprised that his friend would do something unlike him.

'…you usually just barged in.' Hijikata suspiciously mentioned.

Gintoki mouthed something, and as he remembered once again of his lack of voice, he gestured to Hijikata for something to scribble on.

'Here, use this. I forgot to give it to you when I bought it in the convenience store.' He handed him a small notepad, complete with a small pen attached to it.

Gintoki relied his 'Thank you' as his first sentence on the notepad and Hijikata waved it away.

 _I thought your brother was already home._ Gintoki explained. _I don't want to surprise him by just barging in._

'That's nothing new though? You've done it several times. But now that I think of it, you haven't visited for a while.'

 _Is that so?_

'You made it sound like it's someone else's business.'

Gintoki couldn't admit that since the first year of High School, his urges to push him down had been out of control and visiting Hijikata when he was home alone, was completely out of the question.

 _Perhaps if you work on your entertaining skills, I'll grace you with my presence longer._

'You little-…' Hijikata tried to grab him before he was distracted by the sound of the opening door, revealing his brother who had his hands full of groceries. The both of them stopped what they were doing and made a move to help him.


End file.
